I was feeling so stressed about this quarter....Well, I still am, but I was able to switch math teachers, and the difference between the two are night and day.
I have a feeling I can nail this class.
It'll be tough, but I know I can do this...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
KIND of making amends with you.
I say kind of, because in all honesty, you confuse the shit out of me.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I don't really understand anorexia.
I really don't.
I have felt many times that I was too fat, or not pretty enough, but never once was I tempted to starve myself.
Instead, when I notice myself gaining weight, I tweak my diet to be more on the healthy side, and I bust out the crunches and start jogging with my dog. And the weight leaves as quickly as it was there.
Doing all of that makes me feel good inside, like I'm actually being proactive in helping myself stay thin. And eating healthy and exercising definitely makes you feel great because you're not filled with crap and you're gaining endorphin from staying active.
So I don't understand how these girls can starve themselves. It doesn't make sense to me! I'm sorry if I offend anyone by saying any of this; I'm actually hoping I can help you out somehow.
When you starve yourself, you make yourself guilty of eating ANYTHING. And when the pounds don't come off, then you starve yourself even more. The lack of food drains you and damages how you think, so you feel yukky and gross and you feel ugly, even though it's just the lack of food in your tummy talking to you. And if you actually ate full meals that were good for you, and stayed active, and you STUCK with it, the weight would go away and you would feel great about yourself.
Most of the girls who are anorexic are already very thin! So starving yourself just makes you look worse. But you won't lose anything from exercising every day or eating healthy! You'll gain muscle and look toned and feel great about yourself. There's nothing better than looking in the mirror before you take a shower and seeing that even though you can't see your ribs, you can see your abs outlined in your tummy without even having to suck in your gut or flex. And that can't be gained by starving yourself.
For another thing, most of my friends are men, and for the most part, they'll tell me that when they see girls that are stick thin, they are unattractive. That they'd rather have a girl with actual curves, and muscles. The few guys who like the stick thin unhealthy model look are very very screwed up, and you shouldn't be chasing those guys because they'll make you feel even WORSE about yourself. I know, I dated SEVERAL of those. My boyfriend thinks it's the sexiest thing on earth that he can take me to his favorite greasy-spoon diner and I'll get something he'll warn me is too big for me to eat all of, and then I proceed to eat nearly the entire thing. Whenever I can't eat because I'm too busy to make something or I'm out and have no cash, he tells me every other minute how I need to eat something.
And please don't tell me I don't know how it's like to be anorexic, so I have no right to say any of this. I get people telling me all the time, "You don't even know. You're naturally thin. You can't complain. You have no idea." Well guess what ladies...I'm NOT naturally thin. I have to work really, really hard to stay a size 0 (And don't get excited about that one either ladies; I'm five feet tall). My best friend was anorexic and she told me about it every other minute. I know enough of what it's like to know that's a bad, bad path to take.
Anyways sorry about the rant but all the thing I've been seeing on tumblr about anorexia lately has been getting on my nerves...Am I completely insensitive, or...?
I have felt many times that I was too fat, or not pretty enough, but never once was I tempted to starve myself.
Instead, when I notice myself gaining weight, I tweak my diet to be more on the healthy side, and I bust out the crunches and start jogging with my dog. And the weight leaves as quickly as it was there.
Doing all of that makes me feel good inside, like I'm actually being proactive in helping myself stay thin. And eating healthy and exercising definitely makes you feel great because you're not filled with crap and you're gaining endorphin from staying active.
So I don't understand how these girls can starve themselves. It doesn't make sense to me! I'm sorry if I offend anyone by saying any of this; I'm actually hoping I can help you out somehow.
When you starve yourself, you make yourself guilty of eating ANYTHING. And when the pounds don't come off, then you starve yourself even more. The lack of food drains you and damages how you think, so you feel yukky and gross and you feel ugly, even though it's just the lack of food in your tummy talking to you. And if you actually ate full meals that were good for you, and stayed active, and you STUCK with it, the weight would go away and you would feel great about yourself.
Most of the girls who are anorexic are already very thin! So starving yourself just makes you look worse. But you won't lose anything from exercising every day or eating healthy! You'll gain muscle and look toned and feel great about yourself. There's nothing better than looking in the mirror before you take a shower and seeing that even though you can't see your ribs, you can see your abs outlined in your tummy without even having to suck in your gut or flex. And that can't be gained by starving yourself.
For another thing, most of my friends are men, and for the most part, they'll tell me that when they see girls that are stick thin, they are unattractive. That they'd rather have a girl with actual curves, and muscles. The few guys who like the stick thin unhealthy model look are very very screwed up, and you shouldn't be chasing those guys because they'll make you feel even WORSE about yourself. I know, I dated SEVERAL of those. My boyfriend thinks it's the sexiest thing on earth that he can take me to his favorite greasy-spoon diner and I'll get something he'll warn me is too big for me to eat all of, and then I proceed to eat nearly the entire thing. Whenever I can't eat because I'm too busy to make something or I'm out and have no cash, he tells me every other minute how I need to eat something.
And please don't tell me I don't know how it's like to be anorexic, so I have no right to say any of this. I get people telling me all the time, "You don't even know. You're naturally thin. You can't complain. You have no idea." Well guess what ladies...I'm NOT naturally thin. I have to work really, really hard to stay a size 0 (And don't get excited about that one either ladies; I'm five feet tall). My best friend was anorexic and she told me about it every other minute. I know enough of what it's like to know that's a bad, bad path to take.
Anyways sorry about the rant but all the thing I've been seeing on tumblr about anorexia lately has been getting on my nerves...Am I completely insensitive, or...?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Trying this again...
Even though I'm notorious for making blogs, adding a few posts, deleting them, and then making a new one, over and over again, I thought I'd try this out again.
This place will be my venting place. I'll try to show you into my head.
~Marina
This place will be my venting place. I'll try to show you into my head.
~Marina
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